I will blog about random ideas.

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End is near

As I reflect back at the beginning of the semester, I was timid with the idea of being in college. This place is very different from what I am use to back home. I enjoyed my lack of experience as a college student since I am a cadet. 

The one thing I find interesting as being a cadet is that it operates just like high school. You realize that people start to dislike you and create ridiculous gossips in the hopes of making you quite. Its funny that I actually just laugh about the thoughts of all those rumors. I suppose, I find it amusing that someone would think long and hard to create elaborate tales about your life that they really do not know anything about.

I find it every more amusing when people actually think I would take the time of day to feel sorry about myself. I guess they are very wrong. To be honest, I am not a happy, quiet person that I portray. I am actually cold hearten with the inability to care. I am an apathetic person not by choose, but by reality.

I have faced situation that would have driven a normal person into insanity. I suppose my fake goofy smile is the mark I bear on my face as an attempt to look normal. However, I find it more funny that people believe in my fake emotions like anger.

For example, when I get anger people tend to think I overreact, but in reality I display that type of anger because that is the only anger I can express. In reality, my overreaction of anger is really my attempt for people not to realize I am really that apathetic that I copy the emotions I see on tv. 

So in the end, I really do not care about anything really in life; I just go through the motions and live it.

Open the door

It was a quiet day with snow cascading outside. The land was bare with a sea of white surrounding it. My heart jump a beat as I awoke that morning. I could not think which the sensation that I just awakening to. I need I was in my safe home, but I felt a strange sensation of this awkwardness towards this comfy place. 

I wonder if my life has changed everyday I look at the mirror. I question every I did in life when I see my reflection. This madness sicks me. Why do I feel this way. I am never good enough. I feel the sensation of avoiding the mirror but I am enchanted by its charm. I not only see me, but I can see my soul.

My eyes are dark with pools of muddy water. I open one with the other shut tight. When I am near a window, I can not help but gaze outside. My head is wrapped in mystery with my thoughts twirling around in circles. Something when I look hard into the mirror; I can see my thoughts. The joy of wrapping my emotion into a ball of matter.

Matter what is it? I am not talking about the scientific definition of matter. But the matter in the soul.

To hold your hand

Many times I find it difficult to see you in a crowd to people. Many times I cannot recognize your face. At times, I feel like I am blind by your power. It seems when I am next to you my ignorance blossoms into a veil. I ponder the minutes I am next to you and I dread the moments you are gone.

When you are gone, I realize what a fool I was to just see you and not the world. My innocent mind does not comprehend your odd mannerism. I feel excited to escape you power, but empty. Why I am I empty? The farther I am away from you. I start to feel alive, but the emptiness is always there. 

As time passes by, I lose sight of who you were to me. 


I have a list of items I have to accomplish. I suppose I could prioritize but that just complicates the situation.

This is entertaining!!!

whatsoevers: School sucks →


So I officially hate school. I wish that Chemistry wasn’t so hard and yet this is my third year in a row learning the same exact things, that is right the third time learning chemistry.. well not in a row since I didn’t have chemistry as a Junior just chem preap sophomore year and then AP chem…

Yeah I do like school either

Creating a Beneficially Country Through the Experience of Pandora!

 As I gazed through the window right next to me on the plane, I noticed below me the golden plains of Africa. I was on a mission to investigate the series of political ideological changes from democracy to company run dictatorship that was formed in Nigeria six years, which is now known as Pandora. As I turned my head towards my lap I noticed the headline on the Washington Post which read, “Global Madness with many of the European Countries falling into Company Run Dictatorships.”

            I pondered for a brief second to absorb this information of the headlines. It seemed clear to me that ever since former Nigeria was in controlled by a months’ worth of different military dictators in less than three weeks to finally be control by the Pandora company, that soon other private companies started to take control of the other countries in Africa. Now this political plague has spread to every African country and many European countries close to Africa. For example, in Turkey, many of the Turkish citizens decided rebel against the democratic government in order to establish a dictatorship run by the Tüpras, a gas and oil company, after the citizens experience a second economic crisis in 2014.

            It seemed interesting that the root to the new political ideology was formed by Pandora (Nigeria). Just over night after that this country was formed, it has transformed into a gigantic superpower in a matter of months, which has even super the United States in both economic and military power. Every since the Hand Friend Brother Pack was establish by the Pandorian government with the help of China government, Pandora (Nigeria) was able to unite the ethnically divided people with the common concern of work and money.

            Democracy is the political ideology of the past. Now company run dictatorship is the superior type of government. Even the United States is encouraging other countries to change their government since the country was bought by a Google two years ago.

            As I sat on the plane wondering the numerous of reasons for countries to hand in their countries power over to greedy, villainess companies, a male flight attended pushing a cart of drinks accidently spilled all the drinks on top of the cart that were open onto the lady sitting next to me and on me. As I turned to yell furiously to the man, I realized that the fight attended was Goodluck Jonathan, the former President of Nigeria before he was kicked out of office for abusing his power. At that moment, I come to the conclusion that many Prime Ministers and Presidents abuse their power and are incapable of solving the countries problems or unemployment rates.      




Relationship trouble

So this video is controversial because many people believe it glamorizes domestic violates. So what do you think? I mean its an entertaining song but I think the video could have been more power. To me, the video does not justify the song.

So comment your thoughts. Is the video glamorizing domestic violates? Does the video justify the message of the song? 

Shock Factor

I was late one night searching for some entertainment to cause my mind to relax from the problematic rationality of making sense of the chemistry homework. For some reason, I stumble across the Lady Gaga’s performance to the Grammy’s. She was performing the song poke face (just as always) and speechless.  I like the concept she uses to referring to her fans as little monsters and that fame causes monsters to be created. But it was her performance of speechless with Elton John that made me stop my random thoughts of daydreaming about food. The last time I hear Elton John was when I was twelve. I remember the next day I bought a music book with all of Elton John’s biggest hits to play on the piano like “Candle in the Wind” and “Rocket Boy”. Hearing him at that moment with Lady Gaga, I realized how much of a genius he is on the piano. Oh how I once wished to play the piano like Elton John. Its funny because comparing Lady Gaga and Elton John. At first glaze, I would say they cannot be compared but they actually can. For example, the they both have some shocking outfits. Lady Gaga is known for dress unusual, but back in the day Elton John has wore numerous ridiculous outfits. They both are talented with the art of playing the piano. Their songs are quite entertain although I believe Elton John’s songs are more meaningful. Yeah, “Poker Face” is a fun dance song, but “Candle in the Wind” is just more meaningful because it dedicated for Princess Diana. See both them on the stage preforming was a powerful moment for not only the two huge singer, but for the crowd. It just left me “Speechless.”  

I paint the outline of the tree that stands stoic on the page. The gap between reality and a page is in the fate on the hands of the artist. This tree in the fate of my hands could be created as a childish stick drawing or an complicated master piece. What is a master piece? Could it be a simple stick draw? The judge of the master piece is the person observing the piece. I look at my stick draw and I become please with satisfaction. As I show other my painting they ponder my creation. Their puzzled looks reminded me of the time I lost my paint brush. I was frighten with the willingness for my friend to enjoy the painting as I do.


As I am sitting at my desk, I am stared by a blank, white page with a blinking cursor pleading me to write something interesting of worthy of some recognition. In my mind, I cause my hands to dread the act of typing these noble, worthy words. I suppose the act of writing reminds me of my past experience with this ancient art form. Throughout, my younger experience with writing I have been subjected with humiliation for not having the best grammar. It was probably due to the fact that English was the last language I learned to speak and that was when I moved back to the United States when I was seven. For the that humiliation I experienced, I have always shied away from writing. The thought of writing creates a fear of rejection which causes my writing to be blank with words that do not express my thoughts or emotion. I write but without meaning at time which creates a mechanical not practical play of words. At times, I find that the literally is not how I want it to be use but my metaphors are somehow literal.